"The first step is to accept a child's right to say what he or she has to say, no matter how stupid or unreasonable. You don't have to listen to all of it, you can leave whenever you want, but you respect their right to say it. Then you say what you have to say, you stand your ground and are not blown away from by the inevitable response. This kind of parenting earns respect. It's the strength not to descend to teenagers' level of name-calling, when they would lose respect for you. It's the strength to walk away."
from "Get out of my Life, but first could you drive me and Cheryl to the mall?"
written by Anthony E. Wolf, Ph.D.
Took a little blog break...because of growing pains in our home.
I wish people would stop keeping secrets about how hard this parenting gig is. Just when you think you've got one area covered, wham, another hits you in the face. Stages that we are going through: my ten year old is dealing with bullies, and the soon to be teenager is in the thick of the "You hate me!" and "You're so mean!" stages. Hormones, both the boys and mine, are running rampant. There is something to be said about having children in your twenties...these sets of hormones should not meet. Just ask my husband.
But, I did accomplish something this week. I finally finished a pair of socks. Started way back in August...finished during an actual hockey game. It was therapy...so I didn't resort to "hockey mom mode."
Details can be found on Ravelry.
Hopefully you've all seen Craft Hope. If not, click on over and see what Sarah and crew have been up to. They have raised over 20K for Haiti. I'm just in awe!
I've been enjoying my Derek James station on Pandora. Check it out over the weekend. Sorta mellow, sorta not.
Have a great weekend everyone! I'm off to get the car ready for a skiing and hockey weekend
22 comments:
Great quote... I'm going to seek out the book. I totally know what you're going through. LOVE the hockey socks! Have a fun weekend, Jane. :)
ditto. My son turned 16 last week, and he's a good egg, but my 13 yo daughter...I keep telling her one of us will not make it through her teen years. I really think I (we) need that book~the title alone is worth my $. Great socks, too!
Seems our households are going through similar phases right now... Phew. I'm just glad I made to the weekend.
Love the socks!
gosh jane, my heart is breaking for you. i hope you and the boys find some peace soon. it is all so very hard.
hope you can rest this weekend. skiing sounds great!
we are going pond curling in mass. can you stand it? because the girl just doesn't get enough! ugh!
You know....having little babies is a breeze and cute little toddlers.
...and they start growing up..yeah.
Dealt with a first girl-friend and a break up...thought I was going to rip my hair out.They sure keep you on your toes...I finally figured out one thing and feeling pretty confident...all to jump into the next challenge.
Never a dull moment.
Good luck Jane...I'm right there with ya!
i am wetting my toes in this parenting a pre-teen pool. if this morning's hair drama was any indicator of years to come, i might not have any hair left. (and i DID have all three of my kids in my twenties!!)
you are not alone.
neither are you alone in your love of your mint mocha latte socks. yummy!! your choice in keeping it 100% stockinette was a good one!!
hugs to you, jane!
Wait, wait, wait. I kept NO secrets. It's a hard gig, this parenting. And they send you in without any weapons! I just don't get it.
The socks are cool, though...
Love the socks, they are stripey good.
I am holding my breath, mine are 7 and 10... and I can feel the storm brewing! I think no one tells, because they haven't figured it out either...LOL
Jane you are totally scaring me with the hormones and the tantrums talk. Mine are about to turn 9 & 11 and I will be 40 this year - I think I need to start reading that book now! LOVE your stripy socks - those are my favorite colors.
oh yes.
parenting two 14 year olds - this has been our most challenging year ever.
I found that book quite helpful. A good reminder that the frontal lobe is not fully developed.
I love the socks. Socks are on my list of things to do.
the hardest job ever.
great socks...
and it will get better...like when they are ,oh...maybe 30
Love the socks. It must be something in the air. My 12yo daughter goes from loving me to hating me in minutes it's exhausting. The I hate you's and than the nastyness to her siblings too. For the most part she's great but the those hormones are a killer. My 9yo is mostly the easy one right now just likes to test to see what she can get away with. She had a MAJOR bullying issue last year to the point I was at school or on the phone every week. We did get through it I admit with lots of tears hers and ours. Thankfully this year things are better and her teacher is 100% on top of things and doesn't put up with anything. If you have a teacher who is like that it makes such a difference. She is my happy sweet kid again. My 6yo however is also giving me a run for my money. He's grumpy and has turned into temper tantrums.I count my blessings when they are all happy. Hubby travels four days a week so that is playing into some of the emotions but yes parenting is HARD but so worth it so I feel your pain and thankfully there's knitting and quilting and baking out there to help us stressed out mama's.
Those socks are amazing--Love the stripes!
oh, jane! my husband and i were just talking about how exhausting this parenting gig is! it is SO true.. people don't tell you how much work it is...not only physically but emotionally!!!!!!!!!!!
i think that is why wine was invented. :)
sorry about those darn bullies.... i just hate that!!!!!!!
oh! and i love your socks!!!!!!
hope you are having a great weekend...
i WILL check our derek james... i need some new tunes to blast! even mellow ones.
Sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. I'm not a parent but I am very aware of what I put my parents through during my teen years. And 20's. Oy. I hope things get better!
Love your stripey socks though...especially the colors!
The socks look wonderful. The strips and fit are PERFECT!
Thanks everyone for your support. It's really not that bad, just difficult some days. The boys are good in school and to other adults so that's all that matters. Just growing pains towards being independent and that's the ultimate goal, right?
it's nice to know i'm/we aren't alone in this parenting stage!!
reading other peoples post's gives some sort of comfort that we are all going through the same thing!
love your socks, a yummy colour for sure!
like leslie said, maybe that's why wine was invented...i totally agree!!
Hoping things smooth out for you soon then it will be something else, like you said, girls maybe:) One of the hardest things about parenting for me is to remember they are always looking and watching to see what we (hub and i) do and how we handle situations and life in general. you do the best you can everyday right. Those socks rock!!
The teen angst years can be a ride - mix depression, attitude, etc. and who can you tell that will listen much less understand? My kids 19, 16 and 13 - boy, boy, & girl. Our 16 yo has aged us 20 years. And the next step - if you do enjoy having them around, they go off to college - yup parenting mostly sucks. GGKnits
it is like some big hush hush thing that not enough people talk about. it is HARD, and i think it only gets harder as life is so much more complicated now then it was when we were all kids.
i'm sorry, it really sounds like hell. but you will pull through it- i can tell. no one is perfect, but all teenagers say things they don't mean, and bullies just SUCK!
My heart goes out to you.
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