On This Mother's Day Weekend

I didn't breastfeed-I couldn't for medical reasons.
judge me for not fixing the problem
I bottle fed my kids
judge me for ruining their immune system.
I let my kids sleep with us.
judge me for being to close to my children.

I tried Ferberizing.
judge me for terrorizing my children
I put cereal in my boys' bottles.
judge me .
I gave them cereal before they were one.
judge me for creating over-eaters.
I went to work when he was a baby.
judge me for not staying home.
I decided to stay home.
judge me for not working.
I volunteer in the school.
judge me for being a helicopter parent.
Sometimes I don't volunteer.
judge me for not caring about my kids.
My kids play sports.
judge me for not providing the arts.

My kids play instruments.
judge me for not being in sports 24/7
My kids went to restaurants at a young age.
judge me because children don't belong in restaurants.
My kids play with iPods in restaurants.
Judge me for just wanting a quiet meal and not choosing to have a meaningful conversation at that moment.
We bring our kids on vacation.
judge us for including our kids too much
We don't bring our kids on a weekend trip.
judge me for not including them.
I buy Doritos and white bread
judge me.
Sometimes I take the night off, drink a glass of wine and let them skip their homework
judge me for not being a mom 24/7
Sometimes I crack the whip and they hate me.
judge me for being a taskmaster.


I love my sons with all my heart

Go ahead
judge me
I dare you.


added: This is what I was really trying to say.  She said it much better than I.

just thinking out loud....

Boy, yesterday was hard.  And to be quiet frank, the day before that wasn't much better.

I'm loving the freakishly, warm weather, but it's putting a crink into our routine.

All of a sudden, we are doing summer things and on summer mode and nothing is getting accomplished that needs to be...like homework!

I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but we aren't use to this weather in March!  We live where the temperatures only reach the 80's in July and August...if we're lucky!

Last year, at this time we had mountains of snow. 

So, we will roll with it.  

I will enjoy my days on the porch, because I know they are numbered and it will be snowing in a few weeks.

I will try not to come down too hard on the boys with their work.

I will be comforting to Ryan as his cast sweats (6 more days!).

and will look at this global warming event as a time to get things done, for surely it is a cruel joke of Mother Nature's and we will have a blizzard next week!

What it typically looks like around here in March!

Taken a year ago.

5 things...

Just a beautiful weekend in the Northeast!  Crystal blue sky, temps in the high 60's and a nice breeze made for the picture perfect fall weekend.

Hope you were lucky enough to have wonderful weather like we did!

1.  We haven't had a cross-country meet yet.  It seems like we have been running a lot around here with no purpose.  This weekend both boys finally get to test their abilities.

 2. I have been thinking about opening a little shop for holiday time.  Note cards with some of my favorite pictures and possibly a calendar.  Thoughts?

 3. I've been forcing myself to stay off the computer and get things done around the house.  So far, so good!

 4.  Thinking about the boys' independence and letting them have a bit more rope...this one is a tough one.

5.  Taking walks with my husband in the evening.  A perfect way to end the day!

enjoy the week everyone!

Making...chaos!

Well hello! I feel like I've been stuck in the center of a tornado these past few weeks! Things constantly swirling around and me trying to grab hold of something for a bit of stability. Final exams, field trips, fundraisers, PTA obligations, baseball, social events have all filled our calendar. I think we are finally beginning to see the light at the end of this tunnel and once here, I will be thankful for a more relaxed routine. Matt finished last week and Ryan, finally, finishes tomorrow.

1. I don't think we have eaten a decent meal in weeks. We have been eating on the road to baseball a lot. Pizza has become a favorite friend. Fruit-unheard of. Last night I bought a huge assortment of cut up veggies and had that as my dinner while watching Matt play baseball.

2. We are planning our trip to Jackson Hole Wyoming. If anyone has ever been, any advice on activities, restaurants, hikes, etc...would be greatly appreciated.

3. One of my pictures is going to be published in a local magazine. I'll keep you posted.

4. Looking for some good summer reads. Any suggestions?

5. And lastly, I finished To Kill a Mockingbird a while back. This is one of two passages that really struck a chord. I believe this is what we all feel as parents.

"Heck," Atticus's back was turned. "If this thing's hushed up it'll be a simple denial to Jem of the way I've tried to raise him. Sometimes I think I'm a total failure as a parent, but I'm all they've got. Before Jem looks at anyone else he looks at me, and I've tried to live so I can look squarely back at him...if I connived at something like this, frankly I couldn't meet his eye, and the day I can't do that I'll know I've lost him. I don't want to lose him and Scout, because they're all I've got."

Sunshine and a Walk

2010

We hardly knew ya!

I missed my blog anniversary, yet again.

I always think it is New Year's Eve, but it's a few days before.

Thank you to all of you that stop and take a moment out of your day to come see what's up here at Upper Pond. Your comments and support make my day. My best to you and your families for a wonderful 2011!

Happy New Year!

Snow Day!

Lake Effect snow has set up over our part of the country. It has been snowing for 90+ hours. We have about three feet of snow in our yard. The weather forecast says more for tonight and a possibility of a Nor'easter for Sunday.

Bring it on!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thank you to all that stop by to read about our daily adventures. It means much to me that you take time out of your day to see what we are up to.

Enjoy your family and friends today and always.

As I searched and searched for this picture(I had another in mind, but couldn't find it. Man, do I have a lot of pictures on Kodak CD's.) I realized that I'm quite blessed to have such wonderful family and friends. We certainly have had some fun times together!

And to the three important men in my life, thank you for making my life as sweet as it can be.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone~

Getting It...

I've been thinking about photography a lot lately and the feelings that it stirs inside of us. Sometimes it's a memory of a beautiful day, Other times, a picture of a sunset can evoke a wonderful memory about the last trip we went on. I always have my pictures running as a screensaver on my computer. Countless times I have caught myself or one of my boys sitting, just enjoying the memories as they flash upon the screen.

Word is out that I enjoy taking pictures. People have asked me to photograph certain aspects of their lives, gardens or hobbies. I feel honored yet nervous at the same time. I certainly didn't go to school for this medium and have no idea what makes a "good" picture. Yet, I do know when I see it, I'm just not sure what to do with it.

So, what does this all have to do with the picture below? Surely, Bobbi and Mike had no idea when they took this picture it would have an effect on a middle age woman in New York. But it did! In a huge, huge way.

So what do I think of this picture?

It makes me all kinds of happy. Probably,because I know the bride, but more so, I just love looking at wedding photos. I'm sorta obsessed by all that there is to see about weddings on the Internet. This one just looks like a rocking, good time.

But let me take it a step further. Not only do I know the bride, I also know one of the bridesmaids and a guest in this picture and they all make me incredibly happy.

Em, the bridesmaid is my sister. She just happens to be best friends with the bride, Meg. I've watched these two grow into wonderful, young women. I babysat them when they were little and then took them to see Brittany Spears (don't ask) when they were in eighth grade. I heard their secrets about boys and was asked advice about subjects they couldn't ask their parents. Emotions run high when I look at this picture.

But then I see Christian. He's a great college friend of Em and Meg (and I'm sure the groom too, seeing that they all went to school together). BUT, he was also a student of mine in fifth grade! Em and Meg grew up in a neighboring city from Christian(both in New York). Sitting around a bar one night (in Ohio), my name came up (probably talking about their best teacher ever!). They put two and two together, Em got on the phone (that was before I could text) and bingo, the mystery was solved.

Three lives that have touched mine in ways that could only be imagined and one photographer got it without even knowing.

I have to play around with this notion a bit more. I want my photos to have feelings. Is there such a thing? I'm not sure. More importantly, I want my family to look at my pictures, today and long after I'm gone and remember.

btw...go check out all of Matt and Meg's wedding pictures at bobbi and mikes site. They are wonderful photogs! I will be adding them to my inspiration blogroll as a must read!

letting go...

A well loved pair of handknit socks blew a hole the other day. I knew they were going. I could see the yarn beginning to look threadbare, but I wanted to still wear them. They kept my feet warm and were comfortable. Plus, I made them! That counted for a lot right there. Yet, the inevitable finally came and I had to face up to the fact that they were gone.

Ah, yes you're asking yourself. What does that have to do with the picture up above? Well, it's my poor attempt at a metaphor. Because, today you see, is the last day of middle school for Matt. Once again, a thread that holds him to me is being worn away.

From the moment our children are born, we are cutting the threads that tie us. Literally, the cord is cut and then we are encouraging our children to sleep without holding, eat on their own, walk, talk, trying to get it all done like the books tell us to. Parents of older children always tell us to relish in what you have, it goes so quickly. Yet, when we're in the moment of babies, toddlers, and elementary school we don't. We are working so hard to prepare our children for being independent, that when it happens, we're shocked!

Those of us that have middle schoolers and older are well aware of the new challenges that face our kids. Where there use to be much talking; silence, stony stares and occasional grunts occur. We jump at the chance to listen when conversation does appear. Patience is practiced over and over again.

New worries fill the space of old. Have we taught our children to make good choices? Will they be able to handle the failure that will be placed in their paths and turn a poor opportunity into something positive? Will they come out on the other side happy?

The picture of the boys in the kayaks was a huge step for me this year on our vacation. I don't usually freak about my boys escapades, but the ocean scares me. Just as probably, let's say you might freak if you saw my boys going over ski jumps. For some reason, the ski jumps don't bother me. But the ocean does. I cut a thread this year(abet, not very well), trying not to freak as my boys body surfed and rode the kayak. No, Jaws did not appear and eat my children up and we all survived. It was a huge moment for me.

I wish good things for my boys as they grow older and hope we've helped to lay the foundation for an exceptional high school experience. And just like with the sock, I know the moment is coming when they won't be here with me, but I plan on cherishing every second I have until that time comes.

busy.busy.busy!

I'm here! But running fast! It's that time of year again: school projects, field trips, gardening, end of year finals and the list goes on!

I've been planting pots!

Weeding!

Watching endless baseball!

Enjoying the bees!

Moving mulch!

and watching the flowers grow!

I hope everyone out there enjoys the end of the year and the relaxation that it brings with it!