Tuesday, September 4, 2012

I had a birthday...

or in other words:
"This is what 50 (yikes) looks like."

I found myself approaching this birthday in a not so nice way. In fact I was really dreading it.  When I hit 20, 30 and 40 I was busy, busy.  In the midst of college, teaching and then parenting. And while I'm still in the midst of parenting, my kids don't need me as often as they did and I find myself with a lot of down time, hence, the wondering of what I want to do with the rest of my life, which leads me to gasp at the fact that I'm 50!

So, what I found myself doing over the last few months is reflecting on this great journey and thinking about where it will lead me next. 
So I thought:

When I was 10, I was a tween. Hoping to be the next Olga Korbet or Cathy Rigby.  
When I was 20 I had met my husband, who wouldn't become my husband for quite some time. I was too busy playing partying to be serious about anything. 
I remember turning 30 and still thinking that I wasn't ready to settle down.  Andy was back in my life and this time it was for good.
And then all of a sudden I was 40.  We had a great party in the Adirondacks.  All my favorite people were there...and I was sicker than a dog with the flu.  Matt and Ryan were only 5 and 3 and so excited.

I always thought I wanted a big bash for my 50th.  But as it grew closer I just wanted quiet. To celebrate with my favorite people.  My close friends took me out for a surprise dinner, my brother and sister-in-law came for a summer time visit and I quietly celebrated my day overlooking the mountains and the lake in the Adirondacks.

I'm not sure where I will travel this decade, but I do know that when I reach the other side I will have both boys out of school.  It will be an exciting time for our family. It will be a time where Andy and I will be back to just us. I'm looking forward to watching the boys grow and become young men with their own dreams. I'm looking forward to my independence and where it might lead me.
So 50, welcome and play nice.


11 comments:

From All Stitched Up said...

Happy Birthday! I'm sure it will be a great decade!

MadMad said...

Happy, happy day! I hope the decade plays nice, too! And tell me what you decide to do with it, because I'm wondering, too!

Anonymous said...

You have such a great outlook. I am so dreading it. It is just looming out there, taunting me. So glad you spent it exactly as you wished. Cheers!

Boo's Mom said...

I can tell you turning 50 is more difficult than being 50. I'm facing 60 next year!

Love.Leigh.Knitz said...

Happy Birthday! Welcome to Fifty! I greeted it as well in February, and in a similar fashion... quality time with close friends... laughter and peace... with our only hoopla being a tiny music box that my friend took out of her handbag at dinner, and by turning the handle, played Happy Birthday.... and then there were the party hats that we made from the linen napkins... our waiter was amused. I say, embrace the new year... and (as I learned from Diane Keaton's memior, it's 'Fifty'.... never 50... So, I'm following her advice... letting go of the number, and embracing the journey!

...And I'm curious.... which lake in the Adirondacks? A favorite place of mine!

Happy Happy!

Louise said...

Happy birthday, Jane! (I'm not too far behind you...)It sounds as though you had a lovely time and I hope you have a great year ahead!

free range chick said...

Happiest of birthdays- goregous! Have a lovely - quiet celebration.
Wishing you have a wonderful decade with lots of fun & new discoveries.

Andi said...

Happy birthday fellow Virgo! I think as we get older the quiet celebrations with those who are close are the best.

RW said...

Happy Birthday Jane!
I am heading in that direction myself. I turn 48 in December. Lots of living left to do.

Loretta said...

Happy Birthday! I turn 40 next year and wonder where the time has gone...I don't feel like I am gonna be 40. I thought I wanted to celebrate quietlly too, but instead decided to go to Orlando and run the Disney Princess Half Marathon, and "thinking " about a Half Ironman in June. Yeah, I may be crazy but what a great way to start off decade! Just remember, it is only a number!

thistledowns wool & cotton said...

i think it will be just great! happy birthday, friend!